So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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