Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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