Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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