3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
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