If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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