Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize