My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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