Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
