HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
