his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Found your dick twin last night
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
There's even glitter on my cock...
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