I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
