eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
