That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
