I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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