i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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