WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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