My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
