so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
