epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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