Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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