We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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