We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
