So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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