Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
