If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
