My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
