You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
