Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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