please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
