why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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