He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
