i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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