what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
