Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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