Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
