just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
