So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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