Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
