biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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