Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
