I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
