It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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