Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
