I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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