YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
