piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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