Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Randomize
