I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
