I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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