Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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