I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
