Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
