Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You were trust falling into bushes
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
