just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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