who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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