oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
40s are totally the cure
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Randomize
