Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
