There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize