I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
