wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
