My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
