Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
